A GAG about a bus passenger insulting an ugly baby was yesterday voted the funniest joke of all time. Researchers scoured the web before whittling gags down to a final 50 on which 36, people voted. In second place was a legendary one-liner about a zoo with just one dog being a "shitzu.
It also features jokes about religion, anorexia - and animal cruelty. The study was carried out after comic critics voted Tim Vine's holiday joke the best of this year's Edinburgh Fringe Festival. His winning one-liner was, "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday.
I'll tell you what, never again. Yesterday a spokesman for www. What one person finds hilarious, someone else may not. I can hardly contain myself.
argo-karaganda.kz/scripts/jigetehig/4180.php He sidles up to the bar and says: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it. If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone. Well, YES. That's what I bought them for. You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out. This vinegar's got lumps in it". He said: "Those are pickled onions.
He sent in 10 different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in 10 did.
It took him two hours to pass me the salt. The barman says: "Oi - get out. We don't want your type in here. Add source. Error occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
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Login Forgot your password? Email Send Have an account? Login Don't have an account? Sign Up. Get our top 10 stories in your inbox:. I have already activated my account. Resend activation link. We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic. You can read more about it and change your preferences here. Facebook Pinterest Twitter. Final score:. Anna Edvardsen 3 years ago True for half of the Instagram "gurus"????
Ayushi Sharma 3 years ago The story of my life. Mags Acutt 3 years ago If it was made in China, relax! It won't come back!!!
Sonya Popovich 3 years ago You don't know the password too Scapau Corina 3 years ago Hahahha Ayushi Sharma 3 years ago This post too has parallel lines, they never meet :P. Su Li 11 months ago I know how you feel. If I tell you will you let me keep the ring? Brianna Bastian 3 years ago love it! Celia McDaniel 3 years ago Me Intensive Panda 3 years ago I'm a German and find it hilarious.
Veronica Hufana 3 years ago I'm using this on the next bad example I come across. Jamison Frances 3 years ago Love it!
What should I do? He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. And it makes sense, as during his time in late night Fallon pushed a style of comedy that equated fun and funny. Here is the winner:. He forgot he had cancer LOL!!
Ayushi Sharma 3 years ago Didn't see that coming! Lina Paavilainen 3 years ago Best! Wise-ass joke!
Leanne Gordon 3 years ago You Excel at these jokes???? The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.
This kind of humor turns to be the funniest jokes again, and so much so that you Yep, that is the scientifically proven best joke in the world — no need to be. Some of the jokes are long, some are short, and two feature bears for some reason, but are they really the funniest jokes in the world?.
He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?
I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.
Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what? Researchers also included five computer-generated jokes , four of which fared rather poorly, but one was rated higher than one third of the human jokes: .